Stephanie Nielson, "Recapturing Beauty", and the WSR: BYU's Social Deficit

Tonight’s presentation of Stephanie Nielson’s story by the Women’s Services and Resources provided a perfect example of what constantly plagues social services at BYU, and the WSR in particular: underestimation.

The Wilkinson Center ballroom was filled to capacity (both wings), with the aisle-ways and hallways behind the ballroom packed. That's over 1,700 people. Fire marshals and plain-clothes officers, as well as Wilkinson Center staff members, were constantly asking people to relocate or to make a path to follow fire codes. Forty-five minutes into the presentation, a significant portion of the standing audience was asked to move to the Garden Court where audio was being piped in through a speaker system.

The projector screen constantly shut on and off, leaving half of the Mormon Messages video, played before Nielson’s presentation, totally without video. The actual presentation itself began about a half an hour late, due to problems with overcrowding and technical issues. The video was not ready to go, the power point presentation was not ready to go, the projector screen kicked on and off, the audio needed to be fixed and tested, the printed program was almost completely wrong, etc., etc. I could go on, but I do not wish to.

Tonight’s presentation kick starts an events series called “Recapturing Beauty”. This is a great, great message. The series focuses on freeing women from conventional standards set by wholesale media. It focuses on encouraging women to come to terms with their bodies and to not identify themselves solely through their image.

This message is progressive for BYU. In 2009, the Women’s Research Institute was shuttered, which left the University with no social services tailored to its vast population of women (I could not locate any set female student population for BYU online; if anyone knows this number, please inform us). The WSR acted as successor and it’s clear to see that it has no clue what the demand and need for women’s services on campus are. Services listed through the office are support groups dealing with pornography, and eating disorders. There is also information regarding reproductive health, date rape, educational workshops, and relief society messages. At the event there were posters for private consultations to help students deal with sexual abuse and body image issues. These are not advertised on the website.

A comprehensive women's resource center is a vital part of a University's dichotomy. BYU provides its students with an incredible education. However, its social services are more than lacking. One of its most obvious failures is its inability to render invaluable social services to its female student population. I do not understand how to state this more clearly.

Hopefully in the future, the WSR will prepare a little better. Hopefully in the future they’ll be a little more sure of what services they can offer women on campus. Really, hopefully in the future they’ll be a little more sure of what services female students on campus NEED rendered.

Will this push to provide BYU women with support groups, yoga, zumba, a “10-Day Challenge” (of unstated intention), and lecture series be as hastily prepared as tonight’s presentation? I hope not. That would only further impoverish the already meager resources for female students here at Brigham Young University.

I do not wish to criticize the efforts being made too harshly. This really is an amazing push on behalf of the WSR. It's only the beginning though. There exists a deficit and I think the people sitting in the Wilkinson Garden Court, listening to the audio of Stephanie Nielson, felt that they were only getting half of the service they expected.

For more information on Women's Services and Resources, visit their website or their blog.
For more information about Stephanie Nielson and her message of inspiration, visit her blog.

-A Dude At BYU

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IC Thursday: Voces inocentes

Today we're discussing Voces inocentes or, in lay, Innocent Voices. The 2004 movie focuses on the militaristic uses of children in the Salvadoran Civil War. The Salvadoran Civil War was South America's second longest civil war, running from 1979-1992.

Why we should care: Well, the U.S. had a pretty big role in the Salvadoran Civil War. Under the administration of three presidents, the U.S. sent seven billion dollars to El Salvador, mostly in favor of the Salvadoran military working to put down the liberal coup. The U.S. involvement in El Salvador's internal conflict was silent until a National Guard death squad raped and killed four American nuns and a laywoman in 1980. President Carter suspended all aid, at the time, until domestic right-wing groups pressured for continued support. They won out and the U.S. resumed its dumping of money into the complicated and bloody conflict.

Why we should care even more: The movie isn't really about the war, so much as it is about the orphans and child victims of the war. Set in 1980, the same year that the issue came to the fore in the US, the movie follows Chava and his mother Kella as they fight the forces of destruction to keep their family together. The movie is a microcosm of the problem of child victimization by military conflicts. There's no way to accurately discuss this issue in a short amount of time. Suffice it to say that children have been used for militaristic purposes since the beginning of time in nearly every culture (including the U.S.! WEE!!!)

There are a few ways children are used in the military: 1) Combat soldiers. The kids, as young as 7 in Kurdistan, participate as full members of a nation or movement's standing army. This means they hold weapons, kill people, and often rape and pillage with glee.

2) Non-combat soldiers. These kids often serve as messengers, lookouts, spies, and sources of misinformation. They also serve as sexual slaves for military leaders and common soldiers.

3) Body shields. They are used as human body shields during fire fights. They are also scouts for mines.

4) Propaganda. Saddam Hussein used children as young as 10 in his Fedayeen Saddam or "Saddam's Men of Sacrifice". These were the kids with the red bandannas tied around their foreheads, holding Kalashnikovs in the Gulf War. You may have heard about them from the news; that's because they were both combat soldiers and a propaganda tactic.

As I said, this problem is far too complicated and wide-spread to state succinctly. So watch the movie. It will give you a pretty accurate account of the life of desperate families involved in wars that the United States will support but never take part of. It'll also give you a pretty good look at situations that we will never have to experience and probably feel like we don't want to think about. That's why International Cinema rules. These are more than movies. Go and be affected.

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Local Yokel Jason Chaffetz May Be D.C.'s New Boss

Jason Chaffetz (pronounced "Cha-fey") has said a lot of things over the years. He's advocated internment camps for illegal immigrants. He runs in districts he doesn't live in. He has sided with 9/11 "truthers". He also has no idea what Stephen Colbert actually said in his Congressional testimony and refused to participate in the hearing, even though he was on the subcommittee.

And if the GOP wins a majority this November, he'll run the Federal Workforce, Postal Service, and the District of Columbia Subcommittee of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. Here's their website. Fun! What does this thing actually do?!

"The Committee on Oversight and Government Reform is the main investigative committee in the U.S. House of Representatives." (sourced) Oh.

Dems and Republicans alike are worried about Chaffetz' rise to power in D.C. He's power-hungry and charismatic. He also doesn't pull any punches.

Read more about Jason Chaffetz and this potential implications of the power shift in the House this November here. (Kudos to Alex Baca for throwing me a word and for probably writing for us in the future)

Also, vote. Seriously. VOTE. If you don't vote, I will never, ever let you complain about politics in the future. I'll call you a hypocrite and a total douchebag, and probably punch you right in the teeth.

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The Short List Without Commentary: How to Read Jan Scharman's Argument Against Subsidized Bus Passes

This is a condensed list (without commentary) of Jan Scharman's defense against reduced cost bus passes at Brigham Young University. Given Sept. 20, 2010, and found in full here.

1. “…the number of BYU Ed Pass holders has decreased through the seven previous years of the program, including this past year by 21 percent. BYU student and employee usership of the discounted bus passes has reached 20 percent in past years, however, last year approximately 13 percent of students and 6.6 percent of employees used the passes.”

It's not clear if Sister Scharman is saying that student pass holders have decreased by 21% within the past year, thus making the number of student pass holders 34% for the year previous to the decline OR if she’s saying that over the 7 years of the pass’ existence, the student use has decreased 21%, making it an average loss of 3% per year.

2. Students used the bus pass only for local riding (primarily).

3. Bus pass price with the UTA has been raised too much for the system of self-sustaining to continue without University funding (something that it has done the past two years, including this year).

4. UTA is not willing to negotiate a lower price.

5. BYU has already tried charging for parking and future attempts would “not be successful”. Citing the fact that students wouldn’t be discouraged from parking near campus on residential streets, often to the dismay of residents, Scharman closed the door on that option. Additionally, “In surveying the campus community, we found that many said they still needed to drive to campus because riding the bus was not an option, either for a lack of bus routes or scheduling challenges.”

6. The school has 6,000 bike racks and a Hertz Rental car program which allows those 21 and up to rent a car from campus on a reservation basis at $6 per hour.

Do these sound like good reasons to cut off a service which would help all students (read: those with disabilities as well) get to school, cut down on needless driving, and reduce your chances of getting hit by a car on campus?

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The Girl's Father

The house was spacious and white and there were columns along the porch. John could see them gleaming through the windows behind the faces across the table from him. The legs were artistically uneven and they shifted every time he leaned forward to impress upon them the gravity of the situation.

“She hasn’t left her room for days.”

“What is it you want from us?”

“Just an apology. That’s all.”

“From our son.”

“Yes.”

John tried to look them both in the eyes at the same time. He looked at them both back and forth when he spoke. It made him nervous. He couldn’t look at either of them for very long before shifting to the other. They were so clean. They both had bright thick hair and white teeth and green eyes. Their fingernails were smooth and there were sharp creases in their clothing. The man’s cufflinks glinted when he cracked his knuckles. He cracked something every time he spoke.

“Why don’t we all have something to drink?” said the woman. “Would you like something to drink?” She had a large mouth and she bared her teeth like a lion when she spoke. Her teeth were as white as walls and beautiful to look at, the way they contrasted with her lipstick. “What would you like to drink?”

“Just water, thanks.” John leaned back in his chair and the table clunked.

“Nonsense,” said the man. “We should all loosen up a bit. Bring out the wine, Daphne.” His wife stood up and smiled generously down at John. He scooted forward in his chair and tried to return her grin. He met her eyes and her mouth twitched. She went for the drinks.

She came back with a dark bottle and three Bordeaux glasses. She set them down on the table and pushed one towards John. She had a ring with a large diamond on her middle finger. The light coming in from the windows glared into John’s eyes and he blinked, surprised. She smiled again and got to work on the cork. She twisted the screw in and pulled it out with a pop that sort of echoed in the room. The smell of the wine filled the air. Daphne poured liberal glasses for she and her husband. She put the bottle down next to John.

“Help yourself.”

John poured a small amount but didn’t drink any.

“Thank you, dear,” said Arnold. He picked up his glass and smelled it and smiled to himself before drinking. “Great stuff isn’t it?” He gestured at his glass. “If I told you how we got this—well, you wouldn’t believe it.” John quickly took up his own and sipped.

“Yeah, wonderful,” said John.

“Do you like wine, John?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

Arnold nodded and sniffed at his glass again.

“Or are you more of a beer man?”

“I like this fine.”

“Daphne, do we have any beer?” said Arnold.

She looked over her glass at her husband and raised her eyebrows. She drank.

“This is great, thanks a lot,” said John. He took a larger drink.

“You’re welcome, John,” said Daphne.

Arnold and Daphne enjoyed their wine. They drank it quickly and their glasses were half-full when Arnold spoke again. He put his hand to his chin and pushed till his neck popped. “Well, we’d better get down to the dirty business, shouldn’t we?”

“Yes,” said Daphne. “Tell us again, John, what it is you think happened.”

“It’s pretty simple,” said John. He leaned forward and the table shifted again. His glass nearly tipped but he caught it.

“Should we get a few coasters, Daphne?”

“Look. It’s simple,” said John. “Your son’s been bullying my daughter—“

“Caroline?” said Daphne. She looked at John with her eyes half closed and serene.

“Yes. Your son needs to leave Caroline alone. And I think he should apologize to her.”

“Really?” Her teeth were still so white, even with the wine. John could smell her perfume. Arnold finished his glass and sighed contentedly.

“Expensive stuff, this—we shouldn’t let it go to waste, John. Would you like another?”

“He hasn’t finished his yet, dear.”

“Well, we shouldn’t let it go off.” He poured himself another glass and topped off Daphne’s goblet. “We’ve gotten off track. John, you were saying?”

“I just want your son to apologize. That’s all. I’m thinking of moving her to another school.”

Daphne inclined her head to her shoulder. Her smile never left her lips. Her lipstick was brilliant.

“Do you really think that will help things?” She said.

“What do you mean?” John pushed his glass to the edge of the table.

“Don’t you think your child will bring similar problems to every other school?”

“My daughter isn’t the problem. I’m sorry, but it’s your son.”

“Our son tells a different story than Caroline does, John,” said Arnold. “He says your child harassed him. He says she tried to kiss him.”

Daphne smiled widely at Arnold.

“For God’s sake, dear, you don’t have to beat around the bush like that,” she said. She turned to John. “You call your child Caroline, do you? Did you pick the name or did she?”

“Her name is Caroline. She picked it. That’s her name,” said John. “She also says your boy won’t call her Caroline.”

“Well really, why should he?” said Daphne. “That’s not her real name, is it?” She downed the rest of her drink.

“Dear.” Arnold placed his hand on her knee and patted it. “It’s alright.”

“No it isn’t.” she was still smiling but her knee quivered under her husband’s hand. She spoke quietly. “It’s not alright for some freak to sexually harass our son.”

John stood up and knocked the table. The glasses and bottle crashed to the floor. The wine spread out and began sinking into the carpet. John clenched his fists. Daphne looked up at him. Her eyes were cold.

“Not a problem, not a problem,” said Arnold, standing up and brushing himself off. “We’ve got something for this, don’t we, dear? It’s a sort of marker. Stains will come right out.” He left the room and Daphne and John stared at each other. Her teeth were maddening.

“I’m sorry, John, I don’t know what could have come over me. But when one’s child is being attacked, physically or otherwise, you just can’t help but lose yourself in the heat of the moment. Wouldn’t you agree?”

John bent down to retie his boots. The steel toe was poking out through the leather on the left one. His hands kept fumbling till he got them tied. He stood up.

“You just tell your son to leave my boy alone. I’m not looking for trouble.”

“You may have found it, John.” She kept on smiling and John left the house.

He picked up the battered lunch cooler he’d left on the porch, threw it in the bed of his truck, and climbed into the driver’s seat. Sitting in the sweltering truck, John could smell the oil and dirt worked into the upholstery. He leaned his head on the steering wheel and tried to force down the lump rising in his throat. He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a dog-eared photograph of Caroline wearing a blue ribbon. It was a school photo. John fingered the edges of the picture for a minute, finally put the keys in the ignition, and went to pick up his child. He held the photo in one hand while he drove, his grip slowly tightening. By the time he arrived at the school, it was crumpled. But he smiled and kissed Caroline when she got into the truck.

Tim Slover is a writer living in Salt Lake City, currently attending the U of U.

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Two Parts of A Cycle by Brian Ensminger

Work, With The Day to Come

There are days
where, from the couch, I
hear you move
from room to room
footsteps echoing across the walls
and I imagine your hands, thin
and delicate bone
clearing the table, dusting
a shelf, your finger tracing
the lines of the wet wallpaper
floral and elegant like we
always wanted
and I think of all that’s left
to be done:
floorboards creaky, whining objections
to be replaced, cobwebs in the corner,
those bookmarks and signals of
the places we had yet to reach
where light had not touched, vines
all grown, slipped past the vinyl siding
into the floors and rafters-
Part of me hopes
one day, while we lay in our bed
the rafters with their splintered
spines give way and
we fall
the house with us
all tumbling, catching on itself
the windows snapping out
into sprays of light
snared only for moments
and we fall
the chimney following after
us, like a close friend
only to land with all it’s careful
admonition and push
us into the dirty ground,
pass arrowheads, and
fossilized bone,
so that when friends would
pass by,
all they would see is level ground.


We are Spaces Once Filled with Others

Abandoned houses by the interstate
“I suppose we’ll have to do something about the carpet. That leak left some mildew in the padding,”
and each time we peel back the
old wallpaper
falling in chips and dirty strips
we find names written
by some forgotten hand
“1905, James and Samantha”
and labor as we do
first primer then coats of
beige, something calm
“Maybe Venetian molding? Wouldn’t that look nice?”
and I went with my ax
into the backyard, found the biggest tree
cut it down to make a bed
for the daughter we planned
and you throw a record on, something
to lift the must
of work and dusty fingers
“I’ve always loved these old singers. Billie and Frank.”
and we stop to marvel
let it all rise up, the sounds all
scratched and warm, our
eyes eager and cinematic and I
smile
at you
at the fruit of our labor
at the work of my hands.
This one will stand, hold firm.
This one will stand

Brian Ensminger is true blue, Ethel. You can find him here. And this is what he looks like! What a cool dude!

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Upcoming Events: Bare Bones Cares

We've been thinking a lot about things lately, especially the concept of community-building. That's what this magazine is about and we are going to dedicate ourselves to doing that more. Thus, here are some community events that you can participate in to make Provo and BYU a better place - one that's much more fun to live in.

-Now: Hey! Cities throughout Utah have recently been passing anti-discriminatory acts that help protect the rights of homosexuals in Utah. The Church actually endorses these laws! Woah! There's a petition going around that advocates for such laws to be brought to Provo, which would be awesome because why not give people equal opportunities in jobs/housing/education/etc? Sign that petition here if you want some modicum of equality and progressiveness brought to Provo, UT. Also, reading material.

-Sept. 29: Stand For The Family Opening Social. This is a BYU sponsored club that addresses and begs open discussion about issues of marriage within the Church. If minds shall be opened, they shall be opened politely and within the system. You should go if you're interested in hearing Randy Bott speak, which is always fun.

-October 8th: We're having an outdoor projected movie night thing at The Parlour. We'll be watching the classic Stop Making Sense. Come and watch one of the greatest movies ever made, eat some food, and drank some dranks.

-October 20th-21st: UVU is holding their Clothesline Project. This is a great way to get involved and become more knowledgeable about the overwhelming problem of rape in Utah.


Also:

-Every week the USGA, a group of BYU and UVU students dedicated to discussing the issue of homosexuality in the Church (one does not need to be gay to go, do not worry), meets Thursday at 7 PM in 120 TMCB. Here is their facebook page.

-International Cinema is great and every Tuesday they have lectures. Next week is Eliza's uncle! LOL! Here is their website. Go to these because they are more than movies.

We hope this helps and we'll be more proactive in the future about getting things together. If you ever have an idea for an event or something interesting and helpful going on in the community (we totally slacked on getting the word out about India Fest and the Latin Fest, SRRY), PLEASE let us know and we'll advertise the heck out of it.

And now... here is a picture of Steve Martin's twitter.

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A Barry Rowen Production

It's a great feeling when you think you've got something figured out and it slips out of your grasp. Barry Rowen, keep making things that confuse the hell out of me.

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Screenshots of Confusion: Virgin Isles Edition

We here at Bare Bones love when Behavioral Targeting goes wrong.

Tired of the hustle and bustle of living in the repressive, dog-eat-dog, patriarchal society of Afghanistan? Worn out from the undue stress that goes with getting acid splashed on your skin by Taliban soldiers who don't feel that women should be able to go to school? Does it feel like all you do is work, sit in traffic, and get acid splashed on you, day in and day out?

Treat yourself to a refreshing Caribbean vacation, maybe our newest 'Acid Recoup' package. Splash yourself with the cool waters of relaxation!

If you have equally misguided advertising instances, please screenshot that and send it to us at barebonesmagazine[at]gmail[dot]com!

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The Case For a Biological Origin For Homosexuality: A Recap

Did you miss the lecture last night? That's really sad, you know? Because it was an outstanding presentation by Bill Bradshaw, Emeritus professor of Microbiology and Molecular Biology.

Oh but look here!

Bill Bradshaw/The Case For A Biological Origin of Homosexuality

We have the audio of the lecture, courtesy of the Mormon Stories Podcast people (who do great work). So if you have an hour and forty minutes, go ahead and give it a listen. A download is available through Soundcloud, or here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The room buzzes as Bill Bradshaw steps in front of the crowd. He's an ex-football star and he looks every bit of it. To say he occupies space is an understatement. He owns it. He calms the packed room with the click of his dual projectors and begins unpacking rudimentary biological principles. He is not there to banter or win you over. His breath comes, often, in huffs in the midst of his sentences. He's out of breath, whipping transparencies from the projectors, standing over the front two rows of students as he speaks into the various microphones and recording devices held into the air. He is a man possessed.

"It's not nurture. It's nature." He's slapping his hands together.

There is a tenderness to Bill Bradshaw's character that cannot be easily apprehended. His frame, though large and capable, seems to shrug off its weight and size. He is humble and direct - gentle and honest. Brother Bradshaw's compassion for this field of study is clear. He does not wish to succor you into agreeing with him. He never even asks you to. He states clearly and openly the limits to the statistics presented, as well as the limits of his own knowledge. His manner of speaking is concise, and yet he lacks a sort of rhetorical flare. He is obviously used to knowing what he's talking about, however he often seems out of words. This carries into his question and answer section. He is very careful and considerate of his answers, retreading over territory already stated and confirmed in order not to say anything undue or out of line. Though he does not have all of the answers to the questions posed, it is clear that he cares. He cares about the treatment of those in the Gospel who are gay. He cares about how they see themselves. He cares about making a change for the better. As he states, his aim is to encourage open discussion about this matter in the LDS community. He is there to begin this conversation, not to end it.

What of the facts, then? And what are we to make of them? If a person is born gay, is biologically different from a heterosexual, then how does that effect their approach to society, themselves, and God? And, more importantly, how can this knowledge help that person come to better understand themselves?

The facts are not irrefutable, but they are convincing. We do not have all of the answers, but we have some good ones. And, better yet, we have the beginning of an understanding that humanizes the demonized. That brings the marginalized into the conversation.

The best part of last night wasn't watching Bill Bradshaw throw transparencies at the desk, muttering about what he'd like to say but can't. That was great, but certainly not the defining moment. No, the best part was watching the faces in the room getting lost in thought as Dr. Bradshaw discussed the origins of life. It was the clenched jaw of the student when he asked quietly about what he was to do in order to deal with the homophobic literature being sold in LDS bookstores. It was the lost look of a girl, slumped in her seat on the far side of the auditorium. It was the wince of a student when the word suicide carried through the lecture hall.

Likewise, the best part of this recording is the hushed, whisper-y silence that carries on its droning conversation behind all of the explanations and facts and closed throats.

"Find out what's true and don't be afraid to express it. Isn't that what the purpose of this university is?"

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International Cinema Thursday: Chungking Express and Russian Ark

DOUBLE FEATURE! Hey!

RUSSIAN ARK

Since pretty much everything ever has already been said about Russian Ark, let me go ahead and cite the only fact that you need to know in order to want to see it. The entire 96 minute movie is a single steadicam shot. Don't know what that means? It means that the whole movie is acted out with no cuts, shot editing, or time lapse. It's basically a sprawling, intricately choreographed play. Absolutely amazing. See it tomorrow or twice on Saturday.

CHUNGKING EXPRESS

Chungking Express is a film by Wong Kar-wai, who is to Chinese cinema what Akira Kurosawa was to Japanese cinema. It has been called one of the best Asian films of all time by Sight & Sound Quarterly.

The Chinese title (重庆森林) literally translates to "Chungking Jungle" which should instantly remind you of The Asphalt Jungle. Don't think of that though, because it's entirely different.

What you should think of is the fact that so much of this season's movies at IC are dedicated to understanding and portraying Chinese culture. Just this week is a movie about Yundi Li. Next week is From Mao to Mozart. We're exploring Chinese cinema and culture and it's because of films like Chungking Express which provided the necessary Westernized touchstone for America to begin its (albeit distant) love affair with China all over again (I'm lookin' at you De Quincey). Produced by Quentin Tarantino's Rolling Thunder Pictures, it's pretty easy to see why it would be warmly received by 90's hipsters (with goatees).

Why is any of this important now though? I don't know. We could talk about Wong Kar-wai symbolizing a place of Chinese originality with broad appeal in Chinese cinema, the first since Tsang Shu Shuen and Hong Kong New Wave. Or we could discuss how much of a departure Kar-wai's films are from the typical Hong Kong softcore porn or cultist-pandering martial arts flicks.

In the end, does any of that really matter? It's a fun and intriguing film that has, in some way, bridged the gap between the East and the West for the past 16 years and will continue to do so in the future.

Enjoi!

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"Biology absolutely has a role in causing homosexuality"

That's what Professor William Bradshaw said in a lecture at BYU in 2004. Tonight, he's probably going to say it again. At least, we hope he will.

Emeritus Professor William Bradshaw will be speaking on "The Evidence For A Biological Origin For Homosexuality" tonight in room 445 in the MARB. The lecture will run from 7 to 9 PM.

This is an important presentation, in our humble opinions, for BYU (even though it's not the first of its kind) as it will educate students about both the scientific process behind claims like this, as well as the Church's official stance on homosexuality. This stance isn't voiced really all that openly, and one can see that if they go to the Facebook event page wall and read some of the strangely outraged comments. Also, they aren't spelled very well and are poorly spaced and punctuated. Fun!

Hopefully Professor Bradshaw will say some good stuff tonight. And hopefully you'll come hear that stuff.

That is all!

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Letters From Mainz Commvnity College: Jan. 5, 1451

We here at Bare Bones have unearthed a sacred text of monumental historical import.

Dear Stvdents and Facvlty,

We in the High Covnsel are mvch grieved to annovnce the fact that we will not be receiving a copy of Rogier van der Weyden's "The Last Jvdgement", as it will not fit into the alcove we had originally provided it on the second floor of the baptistery (near the registrar's office and the water fovnts). We all know how exciting it wovld've been to get something cheery into the hallways once again, especially after ovr copy of "The Carrying of the Cross" was deemed too French for most tastes. We also mvst annovnce that we will not be bvying any excess straw for effigies this winter. We know that this is a major inconvenience to many, bvt we have mvch larger ideas in store.

We are pleased, then, to annovnce that we're going to be vsing all of the excess gold in the coffers to invest in a kick-ass new printing press. These things are going to be hvge dvde. In the interest of providing the college with the latest edvcative tools, we hope yov vnderstand ovr excitement and sacrifices. Think of the pamphlets that can be generated! Think of the information to be shared!

We'll be hosting an open workshop every second satvrday of the month between the office of readings and morning prayer. There yov will be able to discvss whatever ideas yov might want to commit forever to paper throvgh the vse of this incredible and history-changing device. We are trying to be totally cool abovt this thing. Several stvdents have already svggested walking pamphlets, tailored specifically for those of yov who walk for a period of time before mass. That wovld be totally cool.

However, we are trying to stay strict in ovr decision to stay away from matters political and will not tolerate anymore reqvests for "Archbishop Adolph II" pennants.

We hope yov are as excited for the vpcoming year of stvdy and repentance as we. Pray over yovr pvblications diligently. Forever bold will the name on the page read: Mainz Commvnity College.

Sincerely,

Archibishop Mavrvs and the Covnsel of the Lady.

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The Trouble With Rape

Fun Facts About Utah:

1) 91.4% of rapes in Utah in were committed by someone the victim knew.

2) The imprint of a species now extinct exists in Utah. Some of biggest dinosaur footprints (of the hadrosaurid) in the world can be found here. But how about those dinosaurs in the state senate, huh? (ed: HAW HAW HAW)

3) 64% of rapes are planned.

4) 32,000 pregnancies result from rape every year in the U.S.

5) Levan, a Utah town, is "navel" spelled backwards, so named because it is in the middle of Utah. Clever!

6) Utah was one of the last states in the U.S. to pass legislation allowing married women to prosecute their husbands in sexual assault cases. They passed the law in 1991 - long after the commercial success of the Disney film, “The Little Mermaid.” Even mer-people could rebel against oppressive patriarchal authority figures before married Utah women! The ocean is pretty progressive.

7) 1 in 3 women in Utah will experience sexual assault in her lifetime. The national average is 1 in 6.

8) 86% of Utah rape victims are raped before their 18th birthday.

9) Utah state law gives birds the right-of-way on the freeway. What a world!

10) Only 9.8% of rapes in Utah are reported to law enforcement, which would mean that one rape was committed every 9.49 hours - if you ignore the 90% of rapes that go unreported.

10) An 11-year-old Utah boy named Fin Keleher has broken a world record: he kept more snails stuck to his face for a 10-second period than the previous record-holder (who managed a grand total of 37). Check out the wacky video! Also, 52% of rapists will be re-arrested within three years of release.

11) Free rape counseling, crisis volunteers, therapy classes, and health services can be reached in Utah County at the Center for Women and Children in Crisis.
Call for 24-hour services: (801) 356-2511

Also, check out this article where Utah wins first prize for having the nation's most raped adult females: 20.6%

(All rape statistics via Utah Commission on Criminal and Juvenile Justice, 2009. Link)

Eliza Campbell plays the blues on her jaw-harp because of things like this.

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An Important Thought About Vertical Horizon's "Everything You Want"

Many of you might know Vertical Horizon's hit song, "Everything You Want", from your middle school days. Heck, maybe even your elementary school days. It is probably stiffly interwoven into the very threads of your childhood, to the point that you have obliterated all meaning and understanding of the song as a unit of expression unto itself. Do YOU know what the song is about, really?

Have no fear. Recently I was listening (and singing along to this song) in a gas station when it dawned on me. Vertical Horizon's "Everything You Want" is the aural expression of 90's self-obsession. It's the reason all of us Millennials are so messed up! It's the very basis of "how we do things now"!

"Everything You Want" was also the basis of all passive aggression in our generation. Think about it.

He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why

And, as if that wasn't enough:

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you
And I don't know why
And I don't know why

As front-man Sean Hurley croons "Why? I don't know..." and the song ends, we sit and wonder the same exact thing: why won't this chick understand that he is the man of her dreams? He is right there! It is so obvious!

The song definitely gets deep. Thinking on it, maybe he's speaking rhetorically and it's the world who does not love him. Maybe she's blind? Gay?

Or maybe it's the fact that this guy is a class-A chump who can't get the picture. She might have actually gotten with him if he was a little less needy, or didn't try so hard to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time (we all know someone like this, amiright?). The guy seems to be willingly ignoring the fact that this woman does. not. want.

The fact that this guy says things in such a veiled and distant manner probably underlines a central reason why she isn't dating him.

Pour example:

"Hey what do you want for dinner?"
"He told you earlier he probably just won't eat. He had a big lunch at that deli downtown. He said it very plainly and wishes you'd remember."
"Why did you eat so late? I told you we were going to eat with the Marcuses."
"Why? I don't know..."
"If you write a song about this I will leave you."

Thinking about these things people.

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Call For Contributions!

Do you read Bare Bones Magazine? Well that pretty much alone qualifies you to contribute to it! Don't hesitate to send in whatever you want. We'll look it over, talk it over, and then put it online for all to see.

Email all submissions to barebonesmagazine [at] gmail [dot] com with something hilarious and award winning in the subject line to let us know you're serious. Serious business people.

Love you! Thanks for reading!
Bare Bones Magazine

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Urban Portraits: From Provo to Istanbul

Personal Points of Reference.

I have been recently putting together a portraiture project which intimately involves the process of meeting and coming to know someone. It aims at exploring the ways in which humans perceive meeting other people, especially in seemingly 'random encounters.' From Eastern Europe to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center, I have sought out opportunities to simply meet and communicate with others that are around me. I try to construct a portrait of the subject which reflects the individual and the meeting in general. This is influenced by countless factors such as the weather, the setting of the encounter or meeting, the nature of the conversation that took place, and how well I knew the person at the time, if at all. In this way, I render a visual representation with various media of not only the subject, but the experience itself.

I love to use art (in the form of visual art, music, film, etc) as a 'point of personal reference.' I am able to measure my personal growth and change against my constantly evolving responses to good art and unmoving truth. So, the 'purpose' of this project might change as time goes on, as I, uh, 'change and learn.' Enough pretentious disclaimer. Enjoy. More coming soon.



"...moved on. Life has a direction. . ."
ballpoint pen, watercolor, gesso, charcoal on cold press
Location: Amarillo, TX
Notes: Old friend from home. Liked her dreads. Talked about a breakup she had just went through. Exchanged life advice. *hadn't met in years.




"london london"
ballpoint pen, watercolor, soy sauce on cold press.
Location: Provo, UT
Notes: Rainy. Everything seemed gray. She was wearing shoes I remember commenting on. Conversation topic rested on how Provo differed from where she was from originally, and how she wants to live in England one day. Maybe I do too, someday. Maybe not. *first-time, happenstance encounter


Taylor Collins probably has a birthday coming up and will gladly accept gifts now.
Bare Bones Flickr.

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BYU Political Review: Saturday Edition

I don't know if the word totally got around, and I'm sorry for being so late on the draw.

However, if you haven't heard: El-Iza and I have been published in the BYU Political Review! And Eliza even got called a "partisan hack" which was enjoyable, to say the least.

Join us in our quest to save the BYU Political Review from subjective, uninformed opinion pieces that undermine intellectual discourse at our beautiful university.

Comment, submit pieces, or just read the articles and tell us to make them better. Eliza is also part of the editorial staff so, you know, your suggestions and concerns will go a long way.

Thanks!

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