Stage Door, David Jon Banks, and BYU's Niche Theatre

This is a trailer for Stage Door, running from October 27 - November 13.

Stage Door is a play, originally made famous by an RKO filmic adaptation starring Katherine Hepburn, Lucille Ball, and Ginger Rogers. It's a classic, to be sure, and if you've ever marathoned TCM, chances are you've seen this film. However, it's interesting to note that the film has almost nothing to do with the original play aside from the basic premise and a few character names. This is all to say; don't think you've seen this if you've only seen the film.

Directed by Stephanie Breinholt and Assistant-Directors Jason Langlois and(the illustrious) David Jon Banks, the play promises to depart from most boorish, theatrical conventions. This is the team who brought you Tartuffe last semester, which melded Moliere's classic farce with morbid Victorianism and contemporary pop culture. Stage Door can be expected to continue that tradition of interweaving alternate periods of time, varying modes of technology, and playing off of the collective cultural experiences of a specific audience.

The very fact that it is being performed in the Margetts Theatre is a pretty good indicator of the character of the performance. Margetts is used, primarily, for small and experimental pieces. The entire room is 30 by 50 feet with performers and audience members squeezed together, facing one another, often without the ability to distinguish where the stage begins and ends. Physical proximity, if utilized properly, can heighten the best sensations of a live show.

BYU has a phenomenal legacy of musical theatre. Unfortunately, at least for me, this is more legacy than presentation. The gigantic productions that I've seen, like the Hamlet interpretation (a really intriguing concept), or Thoroughly Modern Millie, are great for mind-numbing spectacle. If I was not really into thinking about theatre as a legitimate art form then, yeah, these would be sufficient displays of performative prowess. Worst of all, really, is this space between the performance and the audience. There is an ever-felt distance in these grander productions that, to me, underscores a certain amount of safety. These are large standard affairs. Nobody is ever going to give the department any guff for putting on Thoroughly Modern Millie, especially when the performances are so technically dynamic. And that's the problem. Anybody with a talented cast can put on a Rogers and Hammerstein and get away with it.

However, I've seen adaptations of Frankenstein , Death of a Salesman, and Tartuffe that got me bro. These were small, informal, and wonderfully engaging performances. They also all had their fair share of flaws, both major and minor. Yet, they were fun, they were thoughtful, and, most importantly, they were courageous.

Stage Door could be awful. And even though I don't think it will be, the fact that if it is I'll be watching it burn slowly about three feet from my chair is reason enough to support this kind of performance. Respect where respect is due: to the brave few at BYU who deliver honest aesthetic experiences.

Read more

Attention: Utah Drivers. Red Means not to Go.

The cold, unstable body inhales green, coughs yellow, then bleeds red. Two beings intersect an alternative, bringing failure to the traffic light’s responsibility. And though this indicator still insists a moving forward, it is continuously stopped by such cruising stupidity.

If it’s not the texters, lipstick-appliers or turn-around-to-discipline mothers that cause a twenty second delay in taking advantage of the green light, then it’s the put-my-life-in-risk drivers who exploit utahardation.

First time, it’s a bizarre experience that you shock your mates with. The second time, you huff, puff and blow an, “Are you freaking kidding me out the window”. But a third time, your horn avows an utter frustration. Eventually your temper dials down and you take the detour to interstate relief.

But errands have left you with five more miles of traveling. The grumble of your V-8 engine stalls followers into irritability. However, an audience grants access to you and the others. And proudly a triple turn is performed ahead and encourages no encore.

Yes, there is the occasional generosity, but this does not suppress the rudeness expressed on the roads in the boroughs of Utah County.

Read more

Kanye West and Richard Wagner

In watching Kanye’s newest, 35 minute video “Runaway”, I couldn’t help from being struck by an obvious connection: Kanye West is our generation’s Richard Wagner.

Here are 8 Reasons Why That’s the Truth:

1. Intense cult of self. Wagner fancied himself the savior of German culture and identity in a predominantly effeminate world. His writings portray an artist intensely struggling with his own sense of mastery. Wagner really was a big dickhead. Kanye’s twitter is pretty much the equivalent of Wagner’s correspondence with Franz Liszt, and when Wagner proclaimed, “God save me from all of these Napoleons!”, Kanye sang, “Let’s have a toast to the scumbags, everyone of them that I know.”

A Scholar and a Gentleman


2. Both use a synthesis of art forms and technology to create a dilettantish composite piece of genius. Wagner brought together mythology and opera, with music used as narrative and technical innovations raising the bar of live performance in leaps and bounds (ascendancy to Valhalla is kind of a big deal, technically speaking, you guys). Kanye is doing exactly the same thing. He’s bringing together hip-hop, electro, auto-tuning, film, the internet, ballet, pyrotechnics, as well as a huge variety of other musical forms (spoken word, whatever it is that Justin Vernon is, Mozart, etc.). Both Wagner and Kanye betray a sense of dilettantism; Wagner’s prose, poetry, and intellectual treatise were less than stellar. They are often confusing, misguided, and deeply convoluted. Likewise, Kanye’s individual enterprises aren’t bad but they also aren’t deeply impacting. Both artists need to merge all of their faulty expertise into one product in order to excel.

Gettin money


3. 35 minutes on the internet is basically the 21st century equivalent of 4 nights of opera.

4. The focus on the occult and intrigue of the night; the sensual and exquisite. Kanye’s interest in the power of mythic symbolism is distinctly Wagnerian. One mustn’t be intensely well-versed in all of the obvious Judeo-Christian, Grecian, and scientific myths to understand the emotional and cognitive connections in the piece. Not only is there a plethora of traditional mythic symbolism, but cultural mythology (the cult of Michael Jackson in the beginning) works in much the same way. Kanye is combining traditional mythic structures with cultural signifiers of the past 50 years (the guy wears a doo-wop suite). This is as revolutionary as Wagner’s use of traditional Germanic and Nordic myth in operatic context. Not only that, but Wagner, like most of the 19th century Romantics, was interested in the beauty of the night. He had a massive hang up for exquisite and foreign things; luxurious fabrics, feathers, gold and silver. Orientalism was at its high point and there was a mysterious sensuality to most serious art works. There is a definite cultural parallel in today's world. One only has to look at any number of photo-based tumblrs (example, example, example, example) to see this self-serious obsession with the dark and occult. This is twee and juvenile yet intensely attractive at the same time. Kanye has captured this feel perfectly in his strange, Bergman-like festivities, the perfectly selected color palette, and the frequent returns to the forest. It's that inborn, bourgeois preoccupation with something distinctly alien to our culture, that return to nature, that pagan construct, and it's ever-present in the work of both artist.

Early form of shutter shades


5. The creation of a mythical story within a single piece. As I’ve stated above, one mustn’t be totally knowledgeable about the allusions in the piece for it to work. The whole of “Runaway” is created in its own plane, on its own time, from the beginning of “time” (Kanye’s life begins with the muse’s landing on Earth) to its logical end with the bird woman returning to the stars (Twilight of the Gods anyone?).

6. There’s no way the phoenix isn’t directly related to the concept of a Valkyrie. I mean, come on. She’s even wearing a metal corset at the end. All she needs is a horned helmet and a spear.



7. Each artists’ eclectic oeuvre. Wagner went from being a celebrated traditionalist in the opera to being a revolutionary. He worked on a variety of projects, always singularly focused on creating something worthwhile, even to the detriment of a consistent and solid career (until after his 40’s, at least). Kanye has been everywhere and back. From The College Dropout, he’s been on top in the rap game. He’s been both in the public’s favor and decidedly out of it, all the time creating new and intriguing things. “Runaway” shows a concerted effort to focus and perfect his new, culturally intangible art.



8. The one thing that Kanye is lacking is a political base as intensely invested as Wagner’s. That might be a good thing, however. Kanye’s politics are certainly obvious and innocuous, while Wagner’s politics were, in the end, used for decidedly nefarious purposes. Where the two diverge on matters of politics through art, they are certainly on the same page when it comes to politics OF art. They are both dedicated to the use of art as a cultural informant, with the power to change and influence people the world over. Kanye’s politics of art alone work here in a positive way; who would have thought the guy who wrote “Stuck my dick inside of life until that bitch came” would lend legitimacy to hip-hop and the youtube video?

Truth. One Love.

Read more

Insider’s Guide to Carbonated Fountain Drinks in Provo

Eliza has been a soda expert for years. She's here to take your small faces in her hands and tenderly drop some fat knowledge on all y'all. Here is Eliza Campbell's Insider's Guide to Carbonated Fountain Drinks in Provo.

1) The Chevron Extra Mart on Canyon

It’s here that I’ll identify myself as a Diet Dr. Pepper (DDP) enthusiast. The story of how that came to be is material for another rock opera, but suffice it to say that it was the wily charms of this particular Chevron station that turned me. Chevron’s blend of DDP sets the standard by which I measure the timbre, flavor, and voice of its counterparts at other stations. The ratio of syrup to soda water is particularly well-balanced, leading to a mellow yet tangy flavor that brings to mind the sweetness of a particularly delicious baked good, perhaps one crushed beneath the weight of a gentle hug from an enormous teddy bear.

2) The Conoco on Bulldog

The distinction between “chewy” ice (CHI) and “crunchy” ice (CRI) is important here. Anatomically speaking, we’re looking at two kinds of ice, but psychologically speaking, the difference is crucial, possibly even medical in nature. CRI is your standard ice, something that flows freely out of Subway cups the world over – simple square or circular cubes. A request for CHI – smaller, ‘ground-up’ ice molecules - might raise a few eyebrows around the uninformed fountain pump. Consider it a bit more of a novelty, a bit more specialized, maybe like an organic baseball hat. Conoco does regular, and Conoco does specialty. Count your blessings that we live in a world of such equal opportunity – and then indulge yourself in two kinds of ice.


3) 7/11 On University

The seasoned Provo-ite will be most likely to recommend this bustling downtown refill-o-rama, the 7/11 on University Avenue that has become a local standard. Your Provoite might even that they have a close friend working the taps. “Oh, I hope Raj* is there!” they’ll say, rolling down the window of their Chevy Tahoe in anticipation. Roll they will, and roll they should. Raj’s superstardom is not to be taken lightly. This local celebrity holds the reins of his refill taps like the John Wayne of aspartame, and the product of his close attention is one of the most challenging and innovative blends of DDP I have ever experience: a sort of bold, biting refreshment, highly drinkable, with a smoky, almost wistful aftertaste. The entire experience, of course, may demand that give in to the ‘cliché’ 7/11 fare and indulge in the store’s local specialty: any of the inviting Taquitos. If you’re going to go for the trendy downtown scene, you may as well go all the way.

4) Crest on 9th East

Now comes an awkward yet important question to ask in polite company: what is, in fact, ‘fun for the whole family’? Steak? Go-Carts? Caffeinated soda? Non-caffeinated soda? Those who abstain from caffeine might answer that their beverage is in fact, more fun. These caffeine kosher-ites tend to frequent this Crest, particularly because of its residential location and its reputation of firm Sunday closure. In the opinion of most experienced refillers, myself included, this only adds to the charmingly-traditional feel and flavor of this particular venue. Diet Coke is obviously the local specialty, along with its caffeine-free alternative. But the most charming aspect of the Crest experience comes in its drive-thru service: its employees can take the most complicated of orders through their small service window, even going as far as to adjust ice level to a precise degree.

5) Will’s Pit Stop

Welcome to the other part of town. Here, on the rough-ridin’ outskirts of north Provo, people prepare to leave. Think of this last pit stop as a kind of biker bar, or maybe a saloon. A vast selection of rough-and-tumble amenities includes local staples, including an inspiring array of beef jerky. Chat with your fellow travelers about their next destination: where are they headed? How many trailers have they managed to fit on their 4X4? How, in fact, does one wear a cowboy hat and Tevas at the same time? The answers to these questions and more are just part of conversation at Will’s. While you conversate, I’ll be in fillin’ up on one of the sweetest DDP blends there is. Will’s DDP reminds me of why I fell in love with my drink to begin with. At the end of the day, I love Diet Dr. Pepper because it tastes like fear, relentless energy, an affinity for loud music. It tastes like the open road.





Eliza Campbell embraces the gas station zeitgeist.

*This article was written at a time when Raj still frequently appeared in the 7/11. Does anybody know where that dude is? We miss him...

Read more

International Cinema Thursday: Mountain Patrol and How I Spent the End of the World

Two films you need to see this week are Cum mi-am petrecut sfârşitul lumii (How I Spent the End of the World) and 可可西里 (Mountain Patrol). Seriously.

Mountain Patrol is about Tibetan rangers patrolling mountain passes, attempting to protect the endangered Tibetan antelopes from fearless and ruthless poachers. The film is often commented upon for its cowboy Western feel. The atmosphere is rugged, authentic, and beautifully filmed. If anyone saw Himalaya and fell in love with the austere beauty of the Himalayan mountains, they will certainly enjoy the Romanticism of the Chinese outlaw in the hinterlands of Mountain Patrol.

How I Spent the End of the World is different beast. However, the ideas of mankind at its edge and the brutality of humanity are ever present in both works. The lines between good and evil are not as well defined in How I Spent the End of the World as they are in Mountain Patrol. However, one can easily find trace elements of national identity, the struggle for independence and security, and individuals riding the line to the edge of existence between the two.

Go. See these movies. Don't be rubes anymore.

Read more

SCAMP and My Very Opinionated Thoughts

So here's an article in the Daily Universe about Provo parking restrictions.

Basically what its saying is that recently the Provo Municipal Council met and voted to reduce the number of parking spots that are mandatory for property owners to offer their tenants from 1 per resident to .7 per resident (I don't really believe those numbers though. I've heard its more like 1.5 spots per home or apartment, but that's neither here nor there).

This is due, in BIG part, to the new great and spacious building being built off of 400 N. Originally this land held an elementary school, but as the student community south of campus grew, the school was shut down and permanent residents began to spread out across the city. When the land was bought by a developer, no comprehensive plan for parking in Provo had been proposed. A parking garage could have, theoretically, been built here. One was not.

A plan has been drafted and ratified to systematize parking south of campus. This would involve "zones" for streets that only residents can park in. Here is an article detailing some of the reasons that this plan has been tabled. Here is the official page for more information on parking permit programs in Provo (alliteration never hurt anyone).

The bottom line though?

'Citizens were given the opportunity to voice their concerns about the resolution.

“Averages are great at smoothing out rough spots in a big picture,” said Charles McElwee, a Provo resident. “But this is a little picture.”

McElwee questioned the propriety of the bus system and the lack of a viable grocery store in the area, using the latter concern to show that students who make up a big part of the area’s demographic still need to drive at times, and therefore need a place to park their vehicles.

The resolution passed with only one council member in opposition.'

Did anyone reading this go to the meeting? I sure didn't. I'm sure I could have if I'd been paying attention.

A huge problem in our community is this moral indignation over the City making decisions that affect us students in ways we don't appreciate. But what are students doing about it? If we feel we have the right to complain, shouldn't we also feel like we need to get involved?

Stay informed, go to City council meetings, and SAY you disagree with the plan to limit parking in Provo. SAY you need better UTA routes. SAY you need zoning changes to facilitate accessible grocery stores. SAY you want a walkable community and bigger bike lanes. But SAY it in a City Council meeting. Here is a City Council meeting schedule with past meeting minutes.

There are resources at your fingertips and there is work to be done. Get involved or stop complaining. Often enough, "getting involved" is just complaining to the right people. Imagine that.

On that note, somebody tell Sterling May that we need a student on the Student and Young Adult Advisory Board who will actually help students and young adults in Provo. Email that cat because I'm sick of the guy who ruins student-administration mediation at BYU also ruining student-city relations in Provo as a whole.

Student Provo City Alliance

Provo City

Thanks Dax for the heads up.

Read more

Op-Ed: Girls At BYU

We're opening up a new Opinion-Editorial section. Send in your own. Today's is brought to you by Spencer J. Allread.

Attention girls at BYU: STOP WEARING IMMORAL CLOTHING.

It's been pretty warm out lately and something I've noticed is a shocking lack of regard for both the Honor Code and other people. I've seen short skirts, low-cut tops, shorts above the knee, even. One girl was wearing a dress so ill-fitting, I could swear I could see her garments. And believe me, I was looking pretty hard.

What gives? You get stares when you dress like this, ladies, and not even good stares. So why waste your time? It's common knowledge that everyone loves a chaste and virtuous Daughter of God. John Bytheway often comments on the effect outward appearance has on attracting or detracting potential spouses. A responsible member of the Gospel looks for morality in all its forms. That includes, especially, outward appearance. A man wants to see your obedience, ladies, not your goods!

Speaking of which: a year ago at a YSA event up in Alpine, I heard a talk given wherein the speaker implored the girls of the room to think about the effect their dress has on young priesthood holders. In his words, unseemly and morally ambiguous clothing choices jeopardize a young man's morality and strain his ability to magnify his calling. I have to agree entirely. And, I would add, that this is not only to mention for young priesthood holders. All priesthood holders are susceptible to bared upper chests and shoulders. Please sisters, remember yourselves and the responsibilities you hold. You are responsible for the morality of the men of the Church as much as the men are.

I do hope in the future that the girls of this campus will remember their places and roles in helping the men to stay morally upright. Coeds are great. But please, think twice before you leave the house. Is that skirt below the knee? Are you wearing tights but no pants? Is your make up correct? Is your hair straight enough (curls attract unsavory elements)? Remember to check each and every one of these things in order to follow the Honor Code. If a man is to wield the priesthood and serve and protect you, then you should allow him to do so by staying chaste and virtuous in appearance.

I will end this with a story: Recently I was walking on campus, signing hymns to myself, trying to keep the Spirit strong (I had run up to the Temple earlier that morning to do some baptisms; also I'm in an ASL class). I saw a girl walking towards me with her bright yellow sports bra protruding from her shirt. Aghast, I diverted my eyes downward and began to whistle "My Time on Earth". Lo and behold, this young lady was wearing a skirt that only met her mid-thigh. I was more than annoyed that I could not simply look ahead without feeling unclean, and so as she approached, I looked up toward her head but slightly to the right. I then blurred my vision so that I wouldn't be tempted any longer. I think she smiled when we passed, but I couldn't really tell. I had holier things in mind.




Spencer J. Allread is a freshman at Brigham Young University. He lives in Helaman Halls and serves as FHE dad.

Read more

Write for the Political Review, Win an Ipad

Now, I hate the Ipad as much as anybody else. However, everybody else seems to love these things. That’s why the BYU Political Review is giving one away.



That’s write (LOL), the best submission for the November 2010 issue of the Political Review will win you an Ipad. Second and third place winners will receive gift cards and all who submit will receive a PR t-shirt. Don’t you want a campy t-shirt to wear around showing off what an informed winner you are? Of course you do.

Go here to see how to submit. Write well!

Note: must be a current undergraduate at BYU to contribute. :( we don't like that rule either.

Read more

A Barry Rowen Production: The Gretchen Serial

Barry Rowen recently began attending college. He has been having a hard time adjusting. Here are some sketches of his Algebra teacher.


This is Gretchen. She's my Algebra Professor.


This is her as a goat.


This is her as Godzilla.


Gretchen's a Bitch


Aquatic Gretchen's a bitch.


This is Gretchen if she had heard of the theatre.


Gretchen as a sandwich.


"This Jade is the bitch of the hour."

Barry Rowen, everybody.

Read more

Petitions, Meetings, and Movies!

Hello all. Are you interested in saving the bus pass program or even making it BETTER?

Well sign a petition by clicking this link.

After you've done that, come to the Parlour this Friday at 8 PM. We'll be holding an open forum about the Ed Pass, and people like Justin Hyatt will be there. Who is Justin Hyatt? He's really invested in saving the bus pass and is involved with the Student Provo City Alliance! Awesome! We'll also be planning for future, BIGGER events so don't miss out.

There will be fall dranks to drank (ciders and whatnots) and we'll also be watching Stop Making Sense.

Sign the petition! Get involved! BYAHHHH!!

Read more

Bieber Fever

Every once in awhile a child does something so precious and human that it seems inspired. Natalie's little brother, Sean, recently did something like that.

He wrote a letter to Justin Bieber.

Here is a sample:


Click-thru for better vu.


More of that here.

Read more

Student Provo City Alliance

Did you know that there's a non-profit organization here at BYU called the Student Provo City Alliance (or SPCA)? Maybe you didn't. You do now. This is a group of students who have dedicated themselves to creating a communicative tie between the students in Provo (BYU, UVU, non-attending, hair school, etc.) and the City Council. This is a group that is trying to help inform and mediate problems between students and the City.

You might also not know that you can be a part of this process. You do now.

Aside from just contacting the group, staying informed, and attending events when they arise, there are other ways to get involved. Recently the City of Provo has formed subcommittees to help decide matters concerning the 20 year Provo Revision Plan. These subcommittees are headed by prominent members of the city and are composed of residents. What the SPCA has the opportunity to do is place passionate and capable students on these subcommittees.

If you're interested in assisting in the creation of public policy that would benefit students and residents of Provo, email us at barebonesmagazine[dot]gmail[dot]com. We'll get you hooked up.

Students are wanted to assist subcommittees concerning: Safety, Prosperity, Unity, Public and Non-Profit Partnerships, Education, Leisure, Natural Resources, Family and Neighborhoods, Land Use and Growth, Health Care, and Heritage.

Time commitment is expected to be nominal. Students with experience or just disgusting amounts of interest in the subjects should apply.

If we want change at BYU and in Provo these are the people we work with. Get involved or stop complaining.

Here is their webpage! Here is their facebook! This is a relevant song by Ginuwine!

Read more

Things I Learn From Working in Retail: It's a Two-fer

Brandon is a twenty-something working at a nation-wide convenience and drug store that isn't CVS. He works mostly in their photo lab developing and laughing at pictures of the "common people", while people watching to avoid actual work. These letters are his deepest thoughts to those that he interacts with and observes, after being dragged through sarcasm and shi- I mean wit.

Dear Dilated Eyes-Woman,

Why must you always make a trip to our store after you get your eyes dilated? Why are your eyes dilated at least once a month, if not more? Your eyes couldn't possibly be bothering you THAT much, could they?

That's not my biggest qualm though. My biggest problem with you would have to be how much you insist on your inability to see with your sunglasses on, protecting your "dilated" eyes. So bad is this inability, you claim, that you can't see the computer screen to order your own photos. Yet you can walk in a straight line fine. And you can either drive home or walk home fine. That would lead the logical thinker to the conclusion that you're either A.) completely lazy and a walking contradiction or B.) a serious hazard to anyone who comes (or drives) close to you and you must have really practiced how to walk correctly when nearly blind.

To only add to this frustration, every single time I help you, I'm doing the exact same freakin' thing- scanning old pictures of a mustached guy that I'm assuming is your son. And every time I ask you for your phone number to begin your order, you tell me the same story: "My son used to come here all the time for pictures, all the time, not anymore, but all the time. His name is Chad. Yup, Chad [last name redacted], that's him. Yeah, he used to come in all the time."

How often? All the time? Or did you say all the time? I didn't hear you the eighth time you told me. But you know what? YOU come in here ALL THE TIME. WITH DILATED EYES. AND IT'S REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF.

Sincerely,

The Guy from Behind the Counter



Our author contemplates life on a beach (he is not at work in this picture).


Dear Orphan-Looking Kid Who Never Steals,

You. Oh you. Your raggedy looking white t-shirt and over-sized blue jeans. You come in a few times a week. I can't tell where from. You aren't old enough to drive, and you are never accompanied by anyone, yet you look no older than 14 or 15. You buy candy and soda every time you come here (but still find a way to keep that twig-like figure!). Who ARE you?

And why are you so stern looking? Your expression never changes. A blank stare and still lips, walking with a strut that just screams "I'm stealing but I don't want you to know! And even if you did, I wouldn't care! I'm not loved by anyone, not even Santa Claus, so take a hike, mister!".

I'll admit it: I judged you the first day I noticed you as a repeat customer. A familiar face, I tried to think back to what you bought during your previous visit. You rarely wander past aisle 5, the candy aisle. And with the mini-coolers by the check-out counter- one for Coke products, one for Pepsi- well shit.. You have everything you need right by the front door.

Then when I rejoined the present from my flashback, I made the judgment. I thought to myself, "Here's another suburbanite's forgotten marriage-killer, waltzing through a convenience store like he's got nothin' to lose but a few minutes of his time if he's caught with that Coke bottle in his- what? He's actually paying for something? I didn't even see the chocolate in his hand.."

So shoot me. I was wrong, and you probably don't notice my presence. But I'll keep nodding your way when we make eye contact in aisle 5; just as long as you keep stopping by the front counter, paying corporate America for what's rightfully theirs.

Would you like to try some Reese's Pieces?,

The Guy From Behind the Counter

Read more

Screenshots of Confusion: Women Edition!

"You know, I've heard that there's some bill passed that might let women have the right to Youtube. Some Youtube suffrage bill. I wonder if that's true. I guess I'll search 'women' on the main page of Youtube, for the purposes of finding out. Oh, wait, look. It looks like the most important video discourses relating to womenfolk are porn and Lil Wayne. Thank goodness there will be no Youtube suffrage. If that passed, I'd move to Missoura before I'd re-elect that President Taft."

Read more

Shout Out Louds: Things Of Note In Provo

As we kick back into regular posting, be aware of some Things of Note.

1) Next Friday (Oct. 15), starting at 8 PM we will be watching Stop Making Sense on a projector screen in the front yard of The Parlour, our humble home. We will be making cider and dranks to drank on. Come meet some cool people, including Michael Killian of Daily Universe fame! (woah, you're thinking). Here is the facebook event page.

We will also be discussing the UTA bus pass situation in a serious manner, with lots of facts, figures, and future plans. If you would like to come just for that, come around 10 PM.

2) Tomorrow night there is some sort of party hosted by the BSS (Boots, Staches, and Sweaters Club) which, from what I can tell, involves some guy named Mike Lemon and free food. Oh and they seem to be dedicated to being cool in Provo, so you gotta love that right?

3) The UVU Clothesline Project (a rape awareness/therapy event) will be happening from Oct. 20th-21st.

Alright! We'll get back to posting artwork, funny pictures, and stories now. Thanks.

Read more

International Cinema Thursday: Raise the Red Lantern and Mormon Perceptions of Polygamy

There are some fantastic movies at International Cinema this week! I was going to examine La Faute à Fidel ! but everybody knows that the French aren't real communists, so why waste my time?

Just kidding. I'm focusing today on 大红灯笼高高挂 or, in lay, Raise the Red Lantern. This is mainly because I want to see how Mormons react to polygamy in other cultures.

Raise the Red Lantern is a 1991 film in Mandarin set in 1920's rural China. This is an era of warlords and much concubinage. The film concerns the four mistresses of the wealthy Master Chen and focuses on the ever-shifting power struggle within the household. There, you have the broad strokes.

Now, I want you Mormons out there to consider this: when you see this movie, how will you view the portrayal of polygamy?

Recently I read Things Fall Apart in a class taught by Prof. Cheri Earl. I brought up this point in a round-table discussion, asking the question, "As Mormons, how do we feel about polygamy in other societies?" The question kind of fell flat. This was surprising and then, immediately, not surprising. Is there even an answer to that question? Luckily, the magnanimous Prof. Earl posed the question again. There we began our discussion.

One of the first comments was that, "Well I certainly couldn't relate to it. I took it as part of the novel and moved on, much the same way that when I consider our own history, I take it as something that was simply part of the culture and move on."

Let's look, then, at two ideas:

1) Do we understand polygamy in other societies so easily because we are conditioned to view other cultures in a way that naturally assumes they will practice what we, in our society, consider abominable?

and 2) How is that we can't relate to the polygamy of our own immediate past (and present in some cases) but we can relate to, say, personal diaries of our ancestors or church leaders? Or, for that matter, the D&C? We have very close personal and emotional ties to a great portion of that part of our history, and yet, the polygamy is glossed over?

There may be no answers to these questions. They might not even be questions. But I suggest you at least see the movie and think about the questions. What else are you going to do this weekend? Go to homecoming?

Read more

@BYU: Fear and Change

So a funny thing happened over the past 24 hours or so. In this post we invited people to answer the question: "What would you like to have changed at BYU?"

The response was... lackluster. One great response and then total inactivity. It appeared as though nobody even read the thing.

Our Google Analytics doesn't lie though. People read the post; we know. We're sneaky like that.

So what's the deal? Why so many views and so little response? How confusing! A conundrum! And then a friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, put it very honestly:

Because President Monson is actually the official head of BYU, people are kind of passive about change because they feel like they're challenging the prophet. Every major change that goes on at the Y goes across the desk of the General Authorities. Point is, our fees are highly subsidized by tithing, SO, things that go on at the school and are condoned by the school MUST be in accordance with the General Authorities.

Now, with this in mind: If you have a concern about BYU that you would like changed, be it housing, honor code stuff, xenophobia, the bookstore, BYUSA, UTA bus passes, etc., please post a comment below.

OR, if you aren't comfortable with your name out there all willy-nilly, please email us at barebonesmagazine[at]gmail[dot]com. We'll post your emails as anonymous concerns, and keep your names and personal information locked up tight.

Our hope and goal here is to get a sense of what people on campus need and want. We would like to be a place for you to discuss your thoughts civilly and honestly with one another. There is no place on campus for us to do this. We'd like to change that.

Join us in encouraging openness and fostering a community at BYU.

Read more

@BYU: I Can Haz Change?

No more bus passes as of 2011.
No more Women's Research Institute as of 2009.
No opinions expressed in the Daily Universe that might offend the administration (as of always).
No easy access to student resources that might actually allow them any voice or expression.
No beards.
No officially sanctioned clubs promoting gay rights.
No honest discussions about homosexuality in class or on campus.
No campus services offered for physically-disabled students.
No empathetic student government.

If change were even remotely possible at Brigham Young University, what do you think would be important to bring to BYU?

Let us know below in the comment section and we'll get to talking. The first step in inviting change is voicing what exactly you want changed.

We're looking maybe to shift directions a little. Anybody with us?

Read more

Things You'll Be Angry To Hear: TARP Worked

You may not totally understand the Troubled Asset Relief Program (or TARP); many don't. But here are some relevant facts that may bring you to a better understanding of the past two years:

1. The TARP, originally passed with funding up to $365 billion during the Bush Administration and then increased to $700 billion during the Obama Administration, officially ends this Sunday. That's tomorrow.

2. The total cost of the program to the Federal Government will be $50 billion dollars, at most. (This estimate is based from economists and analysts in the Treasury and private think tanks like Brookings Institution.)

3. If AIG stays prosperous and the Treasury can cut good deals in selling off its shares in the private sector, then best case scenarios involve TARP breaking even or even turning a profit.

4. This. Just. This.

5. Some have drawn parallels between the savings and loan crisis of the late 1980s (under the Reagan and Bush Administrations, respectively) and our very own Great Recession. If you want to buy into that (hey, why not) then realize that the total damage done from that economic hellhole was around $160 billion, or more than three times that of our recent recession.


The "bail-out" has been despised throughout its existence, spawning the Tea Party and, in general, national anxiety. To some it is a symbol of insidious government power. However, to those in the know, like Utah's very own Robert Bennett, the TARP was something entirely necessary. He told the NYTimes:

"... I do hope that we can get the word out that TARP, number one, did save the world from a financial meltdown and, number two, did so in a manner that, I believe, won’t cost the taxpayer anything. And even if it did not all get paid back, it was still the thing to do.” [sourced]

Still got beef with TARP and the Obama Administration? Just remember that the middle-class has not experienced a tax hike since Obama has been in office. Seriously. In fact, everyone got a tax cut. Seriously. And they probably won't be taxing the middle class in the future. Maybe.

Also remember that you, as a citizen of the United States, vote in the people who make the decisions on a local and state level, as well as the national level. Sure you vote for the president. But if you want that guy to be successful, you should also vote in the people who make him successful. Don't be mad if you don't show up to the voting booth this November.

Also, don't vote Chaffetz. That guy is a douche.

Sources: NYTimes article on the issue (clicky click!), info on the Savings and Loan Crisis (clickety), info on TARP (clickkkk). All others are sourced in article. Let me know if I've missed anything.

Read more